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But now she could indulge without any pangs of guilt, and had, to her heart's content.Yes, it had been a nearly perfect honeymoon, marred only by her memories, nagging recollections of how she had given herself to Mark beneath the elm tree on her father's ranch, and what had happened after that with three other males that she should never have had to come close to, who had taken advantage of her weakness. And thoughts of that had made her feel unworthy on her wedding day.Now, it seemed that two weeks of unbounded sexual indulgence with her new husband had purged her mind of that guilt and those cloying, unpleasant memories that threatened her happiness. Now, she knew, everything she said and did had to be impeccable, for Mark was slated to be their new senator to the state legislature. His wife had to be of the highest ethical quality, the highest moral caliber, and except for her brief surrender to desire before the wedding, she knew she would be a shining example of a good. I know you're going to have some questions, but let me finish first." I said as Steve sat by my bed."Ok dad. I'm ready to listen. You look different. Your face ... Your eyes don't look the same. I don't know ... I don't know. I can't quite explain it. I feel like you're looking right through me." His instincts were correct. My recent experiences had indeed changed me. Dying does that to a man."You're old enough to understand. The last ten years of my marriage has been real tough for me. Your mother stopped being affectionate for some reason that she would not share with me. Our intimacy disappeared. She always took care of you and the house but to her, I was nothing more than a convenient source of income and status. Nothing I did made any difference. She refused marriage counseling. My attempts at affection and romance were rebuffed or accepted without reciprocity. I've lived with no words of endearment, no hugs, no cuddling, no kisses. She would consent to sex occasionally to.
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